Thursday, July 16, 2009

A little gift for me (via Nessa) on the anniversary of the day I became a mother (by Tami)

Tami Here

Today is Megan's Birthday, but I'm not really writing about that (it would change the focus too much ... but it was a great day in celebration of a GREAT young lady (12!)). However, it was because it was Megan's birthday that Nessa and I were cleaning and then decorating, etc. -- "to get ready for the party." Which really wasn't much of a party except that to a 4-year-old if you have cake and presents, then you have a party. And if you are the mom of a 4-year-old you discover that for a 4-year-old cleaning for a party can be much more appealing than cleaning or doing "chores" at any other time.

So, to set the stage --
Nessa and I worked really well together this morning after I explained how we were getting ready for a party that would happen later in the day after we picked up Megan from her Dad's house at 5 p.m. In fact Nessa was just a total pleasure to work with during most of the day. And it was all that much sweeter because the morning started out a bit rough with Nessa waking us up at 4 a.m., not going back to sleep, and then not being very cooperative through the beginning of the morning ... thankfully when I focused and restarted the day, she seemed to as well.

While getting ready we talked about how it was Megan's birthday and a day to celebrate Megan. Nessa never complained about it not being her own birthday, but did note it briefly. Mostly we were simply very excited about showing Megan how excited we were to celebrate her birthday.

At one point I hugged Nessa and told her what a great helper she was being and how much fun I was having with her as we were getting things ready for Megan to come home. Nessa smiled back and said something I don't even remember, and I hugged her again and went on to tell her how very thankful I am that God blessed me with her.

Nessa rarely misses a beat when I tell her such things. She shows that her mind is always putting things together and processing things we say -- often more than we process them before saying them!

And this time was no different and I could tell those wheels were turning as she started talking, but I was not ready for what she said.

She said, "yeah ... because if you didn't have me, you wouldn't have three girls." [emphasis mine]

I just hugged her and agreed with her, and said that each of my three girls were so special in their own unique ways.

Some of you reading this likely are already crying with me. Others may not understand it at all, so I'll explain just a bit of the whirlwind that goes through my mind when Nessa counts herself among my THREE daughters.

In some ways it is like anyone else remembering that I have 3 girls rather than only the 2 they can see all the time. But then it is so much more than that because Nessa only knows Emily though us. Unlike Megan, Nessa did not go through the experience of Emily's death at all. It is a past that she really does not share. And yet at only 4 years old she has been able to process that she does indeed have another sister.

I guess it was even more profound to me because I have never really heard Nessa mention Emily or refer to her in any way on her own initiative (without us talking about Emily first). So knowing that she does know and remember on her own was really meaningful to me. It was a huge gift on such an important and meaningful day -- the anniversary of the day I became a mother!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

At least I'm not the Crazy One! ... So says Nessa (Written by Tami)

Tami Here:

So today Nessa and I decided to get some groceries after her Allergy Associates apt. (all went well there). First I decided to brave the eating out while Gluten Free challenge and took Nessa to Culver's in Onalaska again since she had such a great time last time (it has been literally months and months since we had gone any place close to fast food). So after enjoying our meal there (GREAT customer service once again -- Nessa had a hamburger w/out bun, applessauce and a lemon ice cooler -- so not only GF but also GFCF), I was telling Nessa what stores we were going to go to next.

Nessa was listening carefully and said, "we're going to THREE grocery stores!"

I responded with "yeah, your mom is CRAZY."

(This is how I really felt because going to multiple stores is SO not me. But I wanted specific GF items from Festival Foods, fruit on sale at Aldi's and Woodman's to get some special raw honey that I LOVE...thankfully Festival had that same honey so I lucked out and we only had to go to two stores...still pushing it for me in one day LOL).

Nessa didn't miss a beat in replying though, "Mom, you're NOT Crazy...kinda funny sometimes, but not crazy."

Brief pause.

"Daddy is CRAZY."